Several posts now I’ve talked about grief from the perspective of losing someone one loves.
Grief takes on many forms, though. We can grieve the loss of a friendship, despite no one actually passing but just the friendship falling away for whatever reason. We can grieve the loss of a career – in the moment not even considering that it just may be a blessing in disguise. Grief can come with a tragic accident or diagnosis as well.
A universal truth, in my opinion, is grief reaches a part of our souls that would otherwise be untouched.
Grief forces all the uncomfortable feelings we typically don’t experience under “normal” circumstances.
Just this morning I read a post on social media by the girlfriend of a veteran (of whom has over 400K followers) who was strong enough to ask for help instead of taking his own life. There is grief in his soul – residing there since his time in war and again when he lost one of his legs. At least, this is what I gather after being a follower of his for the past year or so. Presumably, he has it all – a huge following, a great relationship, a body he’s built from a lot of sweat and determination. And yet, grief has him on his knees. I commend his courage to not suffer in silence. And maybe, by him being courageous to ask for help, others reading who may feel grief is overwhelming them, be called to do the same.
Grief does not discriminate. It knows no sex, age, race, marital status, sexual preference, etc.. It lies dormant in all of us. It is not a matter of if, but when, it rears its ugly head. Because grief cannot reside where there isn’t love; love of another, love of country, love of career, love of passion itself in what motivates us to keep going. When you pour your whole self into someone or something, you’re bound to feel grief at some point.
The question is – how will you deal with it when it awakens in your soul?
Just as the veteran has done – he’s asked for help. He’s talking about it. There is no shame in feeling. Ever. And the greatest gift, as parents, we can give our children is to teach them to feel what it is they’re feeling with everything they’ve got. Deal with it right then and there. When you go through life learning to hold onto anger, hurt, frustration or grief, it slowly eats you from the inside.
Adults are the products of their childhood and we’re all born a clean slate. Sometimes, we learn as adults that there is a better way; that life itself is not something to get through but rather – experience. And sometimes, all the buried feelings become too much to bare.
My prayer for those who feel life itself is a constant struggle – can see there is hope. There is always another feeling just as hopeless, lost, or downright grief-stricken. It’s a big ol’ world out there. What are the chances, if you’re reading this feeling this way, that you’re the only one. Slim to none, I would wager to guess. There is unity in numbers. There is
There is help and there is hope.
This post is dedicated to those who felt there was no help and there was no hope.
If you or someone you know is suffering in silence, please call/text/reach out. The first step in anything is always the hardest.
Suicide Prevention Resources:
National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255
Crisis Text Line Info: “TEXT OUR TRAINED CRISIS COUNSELORS ABOUT ANYTHING THAT’S ON YOUR MIND.” TEXT “GO” TO 741741 FREE, 24/7, CONFIDENTIAL.
Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.
– Confucius (551-479 B.C. )