Why do we procrastinate on the things that we strongly desire?
This is a question I have been confronted with recently. Not that I haven’t dealt with procrastination before, but in reading back over what I did and didn’t accomplish in February, it was blatantly clear, I have been procrastinating.
I think just allowing myself to become easily distracted by other things has been my way of procrastinating.
So, what did I not get done that I set out to do at the beginning of the month for my goals for February?
1. Write and publish eight blog posts for this website. I only got one done and published.
2. Get my file system together for the book I feel so deeply in my heart I need to write. Didn’t even touch this one.
3. Choose and order an outdoor, underground invisible fencing system for Gizmo, our pooch. Started to research but got overwhelmed with options.
Two of these things are somewhat related but they all have one thing in common….CHOOSING to have the COURAGE to COMMIT.
I obviously don’t have a fear of commitment, or else I wouldn’t be married for nearly 13 years. So, what is my issue?
Making the wrong choice (regret). It’s always been a hang-up of mine. Which is why I have the need to research nearly everything I purchase before I purchase it.
That mindset is probably why marrying Tony was an easy choice. I had already known him 7 years. I had already done my “research.”
This plays into every area of my life – to who my friends are, to the books I choose to read. I never want to feel like I made a poor decision, that I wasted my time, and then have regret. Now, imagine the anxiety I was experiencing when I decided to close my photography business! Just thinking about that time causes my body to tense up.
Writing and publishing the blog posts is likely more about me committing to what I set out to do in the first place with this blog – and that is, in my own way, help others – who, like myself, are feeling as though they are at a cross-roads in life.
What if this is not helpful to anyone? What if no one reads it? What if people do read it and think it’s crap and then actually tell me it is crap?
It takes anyone courage to put themselves “out there” in any art form, be it photography, writing, blogging, public speaking, painting, etc…
But it takes far more courage to stick it out when one feels as though there is a slight possibility one could be wasting their time. Because face it, life is just too damn short for regret and time is thee one thing each of us have and we all get the same 24 hours in a day.
Right now, I’m at that place where I feel in my heart my pursuits are not a waste of my time; however, self-doubt can be like a cancer to one’s dreams.
So, here I am sharing what is on my heart today, at this moment. Because, I know there is someone sitting on their couch somewhere, right now, just as I am and feeling as though their dreams are so far out of reach that they start thinking….what’s the point?
And if there is one thing I’ve learned is that just about at the moment when you decide to throw in the towel, is just about the time when the magic starts to happen.
So, maybe this blog post is somewhat of a self-pep-talk; give myself my own kick in the pants. Maybe this blog post will help someone realize that the hard stuff to commit to is usually the most important and it’s just a matter of starting.
We just need to get out of our own heads long enough to allow the truth to unfold.
Desire is a clue to all of us to commit to that very thing that burns within our hearts. – Victoria Volk