Emotional debt. We all have it. It’s the depleting of joy in action. It’s the tug-of-war of love and fear; because we all know that fear is the core of anger. At least, it’s what I’ve come to know along my path of personal growth.
When someone hurts us, it’s so very easy for the feeling of the situation to over-shadow all reason. In fact, we concoct reasons for our emotional protection. In doing so, we put ourselves deeper into emotional debt.
So far, you may assume I’m referring to emotional debt as a bad thing. Right now, as I type this, the words aren’t feeling positive at all. However, it’s all about perspective, right?
We hurt because we love. And more often than not, it’s those that we love that hurt us. But I will challenge you with this one question: Do the people you feel have hurt you (as a result, add to your emotional debt), even know they’ve hurt you?
You’ve heard the expression: assume makes an ass out of u [you] and me, right? Therefore, like in all situations, we don’t know what we don’t know. Maybe they made assumptions of their own? Perhaps the other person is none the wiser, unaware of the pain they caused.
Oh – life…it doesn’t include a manual on emotions but I’ve been riding the tidal wave long enough to know that we often create stories to meet our own. And, you know what that leads to then? Assumptions. False Expectations. And you guessed it – more and more emotional debt. Add in social media, and it’s a recipe for an emotional shit-storm. But we cannot sit with others in their darkness if we have not gone through our own.
The sad truth is, when we’ve felt hurt, we often guard our hearts as a result. This too leads to even more emotional debt because you are then not making room for joy either.
I hear you: This all sounds so like me, but what do I do about it, Victoria? How do I move past this icky state of feeling? How do I tip the debt scale the other way to more joy?
Oh, dear friend – you decide and then take action. Write that person a letter and then burn it. Journal your way through all the ick. Meditate to reconnect to your inner-wisdom. Seek Him. It’s amazing how my heart rate will drop when I’m reading spiritual writings and God’s word. It’s a comfort that’s there whenever our souls need it.
Side note: I recently replaced my old Fitbit Charge HR for a Garmin. One of the features is it measures stress. Reading the stats and insights is interesting. I have found that my stress level is lowest when I’m engaged in relaxing activity. What I’ve also noticed is it’s been high more often than I’ve realized. The human body is always communicating with us. What is your body telling you? Rest your weary heart on Him? Seek a listening friend? Feed your soul with a creative project?
Tap into your heart, love. It wants joyful nourishment, not more emotional debt.
P.S. Have pain in your heart you can’t seem to let go? Jot this down and read it as often as you need. Feel the words in your bones. Recite them (preferably out loud) with all the emotional debt you can muster. Feel lighter and know you’ve got this and you’re not alone.
I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears. – Psalm 34:5
The softening of anger and growth toward forgiveness are the only paths that allow true healing. This is how the Lord delivers us – not from events, but from becoming trapped in reliving them. – Aileen O’ Donoghue
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