Conditional Love vs Unconditional Love

conditional vs unconditional love

Today’s post comes from a place of sadness within my heart – for the direction we’re going as a society.

I prefer Instagram as my go-to for social media as Facebook has become a sess-pool of negativity over time.

Today, I read a post on IG by an author I admire, who shared an illustration regarding vulnerability by an artist that, I felt was very creative in her art. I appreciated the post and the words included in the said post itself.  I preceded to go to the artist’s IG account and look over her other illustrations – again, appreciating her expression of her own emotions, from grief to relationships to humorous moments.  I then began to recognize a theme I’ve seen, only to this point, here and there.

I tend to follow accounts that make me feel good, inspired and give me positive vibes.  Moreover, those that are a separation of personal/political beliefs (because we see and hear enough of that these days) and entertain me for the sake of being entertaining – nothing more.

Although I did not agree with the views shared, I did not “unfollow” her IG account, which I rightfully could have.  But it wasn’t as much what her view was but how it was shared – the words chosen and then the bandwagon of comments that followed that swayed one way and those comments bashing the points of views of others.  Yet, no other points of views were expressed.  And this is what polarization is in practice, isn’t it?  Where one view is hushed, and the other has a megaphone?

I feel so bothered since reading it because it is the realization that in today’s society we can neither have nor share our views without the risk of being ostracized – no matter what our beliefs are.  It’s them vs us.  It’s you vs me.  It’s right vs left.  And this was brewing a looooooong time ago.

I’m also saddened we live in a country where our countrymen (or women) are burning their flag in protests.  Protesting what?  That they have the freedom to do so?  As a granddaughter, daughter, sister, and spouse of veterans, as well as a veteran myself, this is one of the most upsetting things to me.  I feel the tension in my body build just thinking about it.  If anyone doing this would have served one day in a uniform (risking their life for the freedom that their flag stands for or have a loved one who has) – I guarantee they wouldn’t be doing that.  It’s downright disgusting and shameful.

Brokenness and Free Will

What people don’t seem to realize is, regardless of beliefs, the brokenness of our society begins with the brokenness within ourselves.  There are a lot of fearful, sad, angry people out there who love misery and misery seems to love company.

I’m all for standing for something.  I’m all for having the right to do so;  when you wear a uniform, you tend to believe that.  What I don’t agree with is using your God-given gift of free will, as an excuse to trample on your neighbor because their expression of free will doesn’t agree with yours and vice-versa.

Entitlement and self-gratification is an epidemic in this country.  So, what is the cure?  Each of us needs to look in the mirror and do some self-reflecting because if you don’t like what you see – imagine what you’re projecting to the world around you.  And maybe look each other in the eyes to the point it’s uncomfortable until we see another human being staring back at us as opposed to the judgments we place on that person based on our beliefs.

I am not saying I am not flawed.  I will declare it on my blog, with my words that I am a flawed human being. But I surely hope you wouldn’t hold my flaws against me.  Just as non-spiritual/church-going folks may say of us “bible thumpers,” that we think we’re better because we go to church vs those that don’t.  I don’t go to church for you; I go for me because of the need I have for God in my life.  What you do is your business.  What you think is your business.  I go to church because I’m a sinner – aren’t we all?  Where you choose to get your “spiritual drink” is up to you.  I hold no grudge because I also know statements like these come from a place within, of which, I’m all too familiar.

So much of today’s discord in our society, I believe, comes down to one simple, universal difference:  what we give to ourselves and what we give to others;  unconditional love vs conditional love.  As Marianne Williamson said:

We cannot give what we do not have:  We cannot bring peace to the world if we ourselves are not peaceful.  We cannot bring love to the world if we ourselves are not loving.  Our true gift to ourselves and others lies not in what we have but in who we are.

We are using freedom of speech as an excuse to treat people poorly.  It simply needs to stop.  And it starts within our hearts.

I write about personal development because, I believe, with every fiber of my being, this world would be a very different place if we all took some personal responsibility for what we do or say, and own that our thoughts become things – in our lives and what we project out to others.

Conscious living is a daily practice and takes practice in self-awareness to recognize if you’re coming from a place of ego or spirit.  I don’t know about you, but I seem to think there’s already plenty of egos to go around these days.

Maybe what people should be marching and protesting for is PEACE…..peace within our hearts.  Because, if thoughts do become things – I think that’s an idea we can all get behind, no matter which side of the aisle you sit on.


*Side note:  I felt so compelled to blog today that I took time away from my book-writing process, which I started in early January.  Early April, I will be an official self-published author.  It’s been a long-time dream that’s finally happening.  Although the “meat” of my book content will complete later this week, there’s much to get done, and unfortunately, this blog has taken a backseat.  I do appreciate you for not unsubscribing, however, and I look forward to sharing more about my book in March.  Until then…

Peace I leave with you, my peace I give to you:  not as the world gives, give I to you.  Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid. – John 14:27



About Victoria

Hi there! I'm Victoria: wife & mother of three with one pooch living in rural ND. I am a professional photographer turned writer, published author, and side-hustle entrepreneur. I firmly believe everything is "figureoutable," and if it doesn't challenge you - it doesn't change you.