Today is day two of writing for at least thirty minutes. We’ll see how long I can keep this up. 🙂 They say it takes twenty-one days to make anything a habit. We shall see. That is my hope.
While journaling this morning, it occurred to me that I may not have shared a bit about my spiritual journey on this blog as of yet.
I lost my father at the age of eight to colon cancer. That event changed me, no doubt about it. And the circumstances that followed, shaped and groomed me, I know now, to endure any challenge that comes my way.
Before his death, we were a Lutheran, Sunday church-going family. After his death though, I think we all felt betrayed by God and no longer attended church. Despite that though, I was confirmed at fifteen. Likely only because confirmation class is what you did at that age if you were Lutheran. I personally carried that anger with me until I was twenty-five, when I was going through something in my life that was leaving me heart and life in limbo. I had no idea which way to turn.
I initially saw a therapist. That experience gave me the courage to do what I needed to do in order to move on in my life. However, I was left with an empty heart and a lot of questions. That is when I started to pray.
I prayed to God to bring someone into my life that would love me unconditionally, that would be my person; someone who was exactly what He thought I needed in my life.
And to this day, I honestly cannot tell you how it came about, but sure enough….within a few months, there was Tony, my current husband of nearly thirteen years. The one who had been in my life as a friend for seven years at that point. I don’t think anyone who knew us ever thought we would end up together, including us. But as “they” say, God works in mysterious ways. He certainly does and has in my life.
That is when everything changed. Everything.
I never imagined myself finding and having God in my life and in my heart. And there I was, at twenty-five, converting to Catholicism before Tony and I were even engaged. I had grown up quite unsure if I even wanted children and I have three, who have also turned out to be the best teachers in my life. Also, rather than drifting through my daily life, just existing, I suddenly had goals and aspirations. To top it off, I gained so much more love and family – going from my tight-knit family of my three siblings and mom to a much larger, expanded family.
If there is one truth for me, it is that when I am open to whatever may come, when I seek wisdom from a higher source rather than rely on my own understanding….good things come my way. I just have to be open to receiving those good things.
Louise Hay says that all good things come in the right time, space, and sequence. She couldn’t be more right.
You may not be Catholic or believe in one, almighty creator of heaven and earth. And that is completely fine. I honestly didn’t either for a very long time, as I just shared. I happen to find a path to believing and I realize there are many that do not.
If there is one message I could share to sum up my own experience it would be this: nothing is ever learned from an easy life but it’s sure a lot easier when you feel, deep down in your heart, that you are not alone and that there is meaning to your life.
As I shared in yesterday’s post – we don’t need to understand perfectly and likely never will. That is the mystery of having faith. I would not be in my life where I am right now, had it not been for God’s spiritual intervention in my life. I believe that with every fiber of my being.
Hopefully, wherever you are in your life right now, no matter what you believe, you can find within your heart a burning desire of greater understanding – whatever that means to you.