A rocky spiritual road….

Today is day two of writing for at least thirty minutes.¬† We’ll see how long I can keep this up. ūüôā¬† They say it takes twenty-one days to make anything a habit.¬† We shall see.¬† That is my hope.

While journaling this morning, it occurred to me that I may not have shared a bit about my spiritual journey on this blog as of yet.

I lost my father at the age of eight to colon cancer.  That event changed me, no doubt about it.  And the circumstances that followed, shaped and groomed me, I know now, to endure any challenge that comes my way.

Before his death, we were a Lutheran, Sunday church-going family.  After his death though, I think we all felt betrayed by God and no longer attended church.  Despite that though, I was confirmed at fifteen.  Likely only because confirmation class is what you did at that age if you were Lutheran. I personally carried that anger with me until I was twenty-five, when I was going through something in my life that was leaving me heart and life in limbo.  I had no idea which way to turn.

I initially saw a therapist.  That experience gave me the courage to do what I needed to do in order to move on in my life.  However, I was left with an empty heart and a lot of questions.  That is when I started to pray.

I prayed to God to bring someone into my life that would love me unconditionally, that would be my person;  someone who was exactly what He thought I needed in my life.

And to this day, I honestly cannot tell you how it came about, but sure enough….within a few months, there was Tony, my current husband of nearly¬†thirteen years.¬† The one who had been in my life as a friend for¬†seven years at that point.¬† I don’t think anyone who knew us ever thought we would end up together, including us.¬† But as “they” say, God works in mysterious ways.¬† He certainly does and has in my life.

That is when everything changed.  Everything.

I never imagined myself finding and having God in my life and in my heart.  And there I was, at twenty-five, converting to Catholicism before Tony and I were even engaged.  I had grown up quite unsure if I even wanted children and I have three, who have also turned out to be the best teachers in my life.  Also, rather than drifting through my daily life, just existing, I suddenly had goals and aspirations.  To top it off, I gained so much more love and family Рgoing from my tight-knit family of my three siblings and mom to a much larger, expanded family.

If there is one truth for me, it is that when I am open to whatever may come, when I seek wisdom from a higher source rather than rely on my own understanding….good things come my way.¬† I just have to be open to receiving those good things.

Louise Hay says¬†that all good things come in the right time, space, and sequence.¬† She couldn’t be more right.

You may not be Catholic or believe in one, almighty creator of heaven and earth.¬† And that is completely fine.¬† I honestly didn’t either for a very long time, as I just shared.¬† I happen to find a path to believing¬†and I realize there are many that do not.

If¬†there is one message I could share to sum up my own experience it would be this:¬† nothing is ever learned from an easy life but it’s sure a lot easier when you feel, deep down in your heart, that you are not alone and that there is meaning to your life.

As I shared in yesterday’s post – we don’t need to understand perfectly and likely never will.¬† That is the mystery of having faith.¬† I would not be in my life where I am right now, had it not been for God’s spiritual intervention in my life.¬† I believe that with every fiber of my being.

Hopefully, wherever you are in your life right now, no matter what you believe, you can find within your heart a burning desire of greater understanding – whatever that means to you.

Seek and ye shall find. quote on Trust

 

 

 

About Victoria

Hi there! I'm Victoria: wife & mother of three with one pooch living in rural ND. I am a professional photographer turned writer, published author, and side-hustle entrepreneur. I dream of vacationing in Fiji and seeing Matchbox Twenty live (among other things). I firmly believe everything is "figureoutable," and if it doesn't challenge you - it doesn't change you. I also looooooooove coffee. A lot. :D

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